Have The Best Summer Of Your Life!

by Debbie Ford

Remember the last day of school when you were a kid? There was something so exciting about the idea of the whole summer stretching out before you. Summer was the time of year that held the greatest promise of fun, freedom and new adventures waiting to be had. Even as adults there is something invigorating about this time of year. The weather is warmer, the days are longer and we have the sense that fun and relaxation are on their way. 

Today could be the day you decide to have the best summer of your life. It could be the season when you make feeling great in your body your number one priority. This could be the time when you decide to complete the tasks that would make your house a place you love to come home to. In the months that lie ahead you could give yourself the down time you’ve been longing for and come back to your daily life refreshed and renewed. You could plan a family getaway and create priceless memories with those you love. But whether this will be the best or the worst summer of your life will depend primarily on the choices you make every step of the way. 

Your ability to choose for yourself and to chart your own course might just be your most precious gift. If you can choose, then you can determine which decisions you will make about your body, your health, your relationships, your finances, your career, your social life and your spiritual beliefs. Choice gives you the power to be successful or unfulfilled, to be good or great, to keep moving toward your goals or to veer off course. You are the one who gets to choose whether you will work or play, save or spend, be responsible or be a victim, whether you will keep busy or slow down. Choice gives you the ability to design and create your life however you please. But what’s important to realize is that the quality of your life at every moment is determined by the quality of the choices you make. 

Where you are in your life today is based on the choices you made yesterday and the ones you made three days ago, three months ago and three years ago. To create the best summer of your life you must ask the right questions, which will lead you to make powerful, life-changing choices that are in alignment with what you truly desire. 

Your Vision Map and Your Default Map

If you are committed to making the months that lie ahead of you the best of your life, the first thing you will have to get clear about is what it is you want. What is your highest vision for yourself over the next three months? What experiences and feelings are most important to you? By identifying your goals and desires, you create a reference point for your daily choices. Your vision will act like a map reminding you where you want to go. 

The problem is, most of us don’t create a vision for the summer we desire. Instead we are guided by what I call our default map. Our default map is the automatic programming of our past. When we take directions from this map, we fall prey to our repetitive patterns and the whims of our habitual behaviors. Our actions are reactions sourced by guilt, obligation, habit, comfort, fear or laziness. When we follow our default map we naturally end up making the same old choices and arriving at the same familiar destinations. In order to create a summer unlike any other we must take the time to clarify and connect with our vision.

The choices we make on a daily, weekly and monthly basis will either lead us closer to our desired destinations or they will head us in the opposite direction. Our vision is the compass, the true North by which we can navigate our daily actions and behaviors. So whether your summer goal is to feel great in your body, bring more order to your home, rekindle the fire in your marriage or spend quality time with your children, the right questions are designed to get you there. 

The Right Questions

The right questions consist of ten powerful inquiries designed to reveal what is motivating your actions. The answers to these questions will immediately clarify your thinking and support you in making choices that are in your highest and best interest. They allow you to see whether the choice you are about to make is a reflection of your vision and your true desires or whether it is sourced by your past, your default map. Asking these questions will give you the power and inspiration to consciously create a summer you feel great about, one choice at a time. They will help you to become aware of the important choices and their consequences. They will guide you and support you in making the right choices and there you will find the most direct route to the best summer of your life.

Here is a simple process you can use to chart your course to a fabulous summer:

• Identify your goal or vision. Looking forward over the next few months, what is most important to you? How do you want to feel at the end of the summer? What areas of your life do you want to nourish and strengthen in the months ahead?

• Imagine what the attainment of that goal will feel like. What will be different in your life? What will you have more of? 

• Commit to fulfilling that objective. Give yourself permission to create whatever it is your heart desires. 

• Use the right questions to support you at each crossroads and to make sure that your actions, choices and behaviors are leading you toward your summer goals.

See  chart below for some examples of how the right questions can empower people to make new, life-changing choices.

This article in based on the book The Right Questions: Ten Essential Questions To Guide You To An Extraordinary Life by Debbie Ford. HarperSanFrancisco Publishers, April 2003 

For example: Natalie, a 36-year-old stay at home mom.

Her vision for the summer: to have fun with her three children

Her default map: Tells herself she should avoid any situation that would require her to wear a bathing suit: Tells her that her physical appearance is unacceptable.

The old choice: Stays at home and over-compensates for not being active with her children by watching movies and doing arts and crafts.

The right questions: (1.) Am I looking for what’s right or am I looking for what’s wrong? 
(2.) Does this choice empower me or disempower me?

The new choice: Decides to love and appreciate her body as it is and not allow a few extra pounds to deprive her of enjoying summer fun with her children.

The result: The best summer of her life. A renewed connection with herself and her kids.

For example: Nicole, a 32-year-old working mother.

Her vision for the summer: To transform her messy home into one of order, balance and simplicity.
Her default map: Tells her it’s too big for her to handle so why even bother. Causes her to collapse into a state of overwhelm and feel like a victim.

The old choice: Blames her husband and children for the condition of her home; keeps piling more things into drawers and closets. Feels irritable.

The right questions: (1.) Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy? (2.) Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past?
The new choice: Commits to her goals 100 percent and makes the choice to clean out one closet or drawer every day.

The result: The best summer of her life. A home she feels proud of and comfortable in. A feeling of accomplishment and a better attitude toward her family.