A number of years ago the Divine Wisdom of the universe, in cooperation with your parents, brought you into existence. You began your life as a winner. Of all the sperm cells racing to unite with the egg, you won! There never was or never will be, anyone exactly like you. You are an original creation. You came equipped with your own individual gifts, talents and abilities. Even your fingerprints are unique.

Through the interactions with family, friends and associates, you had the opportunity to see what worked and what did not work in life. Some of the people around you were wonderful examples of what you could be. Others showed you what didn’t work and what you needed to rise above. In growing up you may have had many challenges all designed to strengthen you and prepare you for your role in life. Without those experiences, you would not have acquired the insights and understanding that you have today.

Your personal history is recorded in your mind in the form of memories and acquired beliefs that formed your perceptions or interpretations of what happened around you. You might think of it as your “model of the world” or your map of reality. Siblings raised in the same home often have a different model or map of reality based on their own perceptions, beliefs and memories. Each person has their own version of the reality that they experienced. One of the presuppositions of Neuro-Linguistic Programming states that “the map is not the territory.” Just as a map of Michigan is just a representation of Michigan, your map of reality as you experienced growing up and your siblings map of reality are just representations of the reality of your life. Each of you formed your map based on what you noticed and the meaning you took from your experiences. They can be very different .

This concept became more clear to me when I attended a class reunion a few years ago. I had taken a number of snapshots which represented what I had noticed during the reunion. But I couldn’t possibly see and experience everything that had transpired that evening. Some of my friends had captured on film parts of the reunion that they had experienced. As we put all our snapshots together, we began to form a more complete version or map of our class reunion. Still it was incomplete because there was no way to experience the reality of the occasion in its entirety. Similarly the map in your mind is only a partial representation of your personal history.

Much of what happened to you in the past was unconscious programming. Many of the beliefs and values that you now hold were instilled in you before you were old enough to make your own decisions. You may have adopted beliefs about yourself based on others opinions. They were not beliefs that you consciously chose. These beliefs can empower or limit you now. Sometimes we are aware of our limiting beliefs, but frequently they control us at a subconscious level. Sometimes we are not making the progress we would like to make in some area, but we don’t know how or what to change. Working with the unconscious mind can help us to discover what is blocking our progress. This is important when we realize that our conscious mind represents only ten percent of our mental activity. The other ninety percent is that powerful part known as the unconscious mind or “other than conscious mind.”

You can change your personal history by changing the way you view your past. Obviously you cannot change the actual events, but you can change the way you remember the events and the meaning that you gave those circumstances. As an adult you developed internal resources that may have been unavailable to you as a child. These resources can be times as an adult when you experienced objectivity, confidence, acceptance or understanding. You can mentally go back and re-experience those events with the resources that you did not have at an earlier age. By recording over that old tape you can create a new memory. The unconscious mind does not know the difference between reality and that which is vividly imagined.

We can examine the past to gain understanding of our problems, but healing does not occur in the past. The past is healed when we are healed in the present. We can change our past and our future by reprogramming the present. Marianne Williamson says in her book, A Return to Love, “We don’t get to the light through endless investigation of the darkness. After a certain point, the discussion always becomes circular. The only way to the light is through entering the light.”

If you did not get enough love or acceptance as a child, you can begin now to give yourself that love and acceptance. Sometimes we feel that we should have been able to draw that love to us from our parents and somehow we weren’t good enough to deserve that love. You may first need to forgive yourself for being human and for making mistakes. When you can give yourself that unconditional love then you will be able to give unconditional love to others. We can’t give what we don’t have inside. And our parents couldn’t fulfill our need for love if they didn’t love themselves.

As you review your personal history, try to understand how it served you. Did it cause you to develop skills and character traits that made you stronger? Did it force you to become more self reliant? Can you use those past events to empower you now or help others in some way? Your personal history is just that. It’s history. Learn from it and live in the present moment. Your greatest present is the present.

Donna May MA Ed, is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Stress Management, Pain Relief Specialist, practitioner of NLP, Reiki and Yuen Energetics. She utilizes spiritual principles and “A Course in Miracles” teachings. Available for classes, public presentations or private consultations. (248) 626-4859 or DonnMay27@comcast.net.