by Rena Greenberg

There’s a road in front of you and it has a fork in it. One way leads to moments of pleasure with a backdrop of pain and the other path goes to a place that contains moments of pain resting on a foundation of deep peace, love and contentment. Naturally, if you were asked which road you would prefer, without hesitation you’d most likely select the one leading to deep pleasure and serenity.

In fact, this choice truly is before you now and in every waking moment of your life. Though the decision is not as blatant as a dirt path off to your right and a street lined with gold on your left, the choices you make do lead you down opposite paths that end up in two completely different destinations.

Our core nature is one of unity. Following the longing of the core self our heart will always take us to love, goodness, forgiveness and a place of peace and fulfillment, where all our needs are met. We are no longer feeling that insatiable craving for something more, but instead become filled with the spaciousness and freedom found in pure, spontaneous gratitude.

So how do you on a practical level even know what path you are choosing?

One way is to notice what questions you are asking yourself. The questions of the ego-mind always lead to pain, never to a concrete productive answer and generally keep you spinning in the question for an endless amount of time, all the while distancing yourself from others and sapping your energy and generally knocking the wind out of your sail. Questions of the ego mind:

What’s wrong with me?
What’s wrong with him or her?
Why do I keep eating like this?
Why does ____ treat me so badly?
Why did I have to have such a dysfunctional childhood?
Why am I so lazy and weak-willed?
When will I ever learn?
How could I have been so stupid?
Why do I have such rotten luck?
Will I ever get better?
Why is my life so hard?
Notice how drained asking these questions makes you feel. The questions of the core self – your essential nature, on the other hand, lead to a feeling of peace and freedom within. They boost your energy level and give you strength and hope for the future. Some examples are:
What can I learn from this?
Can I be strong despite what’s going on around me?
What do I want? Is this thought or action going to bring me closer to that or pull me further away?
What thought or action can I take right now that will bring me closer to that outcome?
Can I let go of the past and be here in this moment now?
How can I serve myself and others best?
What gifts to I have to share with these people?
What is my highest calling for today?
How can I make today better than yesterday?
How can I nurture myself today?
Can I love and accept myself right now even though I feel ____?
Can I say “yes” to this situation or person even though I perceive that they are doing ____ and I don’t like it?
Who can I reach out to?
What noble traits did I acquire through the difficulties I have faced?
What noble traits can I acquire now through the difficulty I am facing?
What are the blessings around me?
How can I open more to receive the love that is here for me?
How can I nurture and care for my body more?
What healthy foods can I eat that I can absolutely enjoy – that won’t perpetuate addiction?
How can I give love with no thought of getting anything back?
Can I know that I don’t have to seek love because I am loved, I’ve always been loved and I always will be loved?
Can I let go of all my mistakes from the past, right now?
What is the highest expression of my self?
Can I let go of the myth of perfection?

Notice that even before you find an answer to any of these questions from the second list, just asking them enhances your sense of hope and fulfillment. You may look at the second list of questions and wonder why you should be so altruistic when in fact all you really want is just to be happy yourself – to enjoy life. Perhaps you think that based on your life experience, if you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will and you’ve got to make your number one priority looking out for yourself. That may be true, but the secret here is that by identifying with your core self – your true essential nature – and asking the questions that help you to align with this greater aspect of yourself – you are ultimately destined to greater happiness.

There is an ocean of forgiveness, love, freedom, peace and joy that we can jump into at any time.

Rena Greenberg, Director of Wellness Seminars, Inc, is the author of “The Right Weigh: Six Steps to Permanent Weight Loss” and “The Craving Cure: Break the Hold Carbs and Sweets Have on Your Life.” She leads weight loss seminars at hospitals throughout the Detroit area on a regular basis. She can be reached at (800) 848-2822, visit www.EasyWillpower.com.