So Saturn is in Virgo. How bad could that be? It’s never too late to get organized, to set your priorities straight. Virgo and Pisces will get the firsthand lessons, but we are all in the stew pot. Every one of us has Saturn in Virgo transiting a house in our Natal Chart. Given a great big 10 degree orb, we will feel these influences for the next two years. Every one of us will get to know our Virgo needs and something in us will find a new healthy balance. Granted, there’s the critical thing and the thankless jobs thing, but mostly it’s about self esteem and karmic cost cutting. Humor helps too so, with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, who has proven to me time and time again that I am indeed not smarter than a 5th grader.

You might be a Virgo if:

If you can not cook in a dirty kitchen or work at a messy desk.
If the repetitive usage of baaad grammar makes your right eye swell shut until you look like Popeye.
If you only get sick on your vacation, but, that’s OK because, you brought your mending and there’s a laundry in your hotel.
If you never run out of tuna fish or peanut butter.
If sloppy slackers fear you and run from the room when they see you coming with the Windex.
If PineSol, Pledge and sawdust are a turn on for you.
If you are lost without your lists and sticky notes and you rewrite them at night before you go to bed.
If during an audience with the Pope, you can’t fight the urge to reach out and pick a wee bit of lint off of his sleeve.
If schmutz on the menu or goo on the table immediately takes your appetite away, even though you were coyote hungry when you walked into the restaurant.
If you clean before the maid gets there or wash your hair before you go to get it cut.
If you travel with hand sanitizer, dental floss and a first aid kit.
If you feed feral cats and critters and get healed by doing yard work.
If you are sick to death of being the family shrink.

If you put hours into a presentation, wrestling over every darn detail, knowing in your heart that there wasn’t one more ounce of energy to give it. Oh geez, your work is so good that you get an award. There you are standing at the podium, the boss slaps you on the back, like a winning hockey player. Applause... applause... And, as you stand there you look at the cover and think “Dear Lord, why did I choose that awful shade of blue and that font, it’s sooo tacky. I wish they’d stop praising me, how obsequious and fawning. Granted it isn’t mediocre, but with a few more days I could tweak it. They better stop fussing over me soon or I’ll have to show them how badly I screwed up.”

If you are still seeking perfection and it seems just out of reach. If your inner critic is always buzzing. Look up perfect in the dictionary, it says “complete.”

You were born that way, God and I say you are fine, it isn’t open for debate. Be gentle with yourself, Saturn will be in your guest room for the next two years.

Just take baby steps and perhaps some rescue remedy.

Rev. Linda Newman is a third generation astrologer, mystic student, and holistic wellness practitioner. She has a private practice in Birmingham, Michigan and tours with the MotherPeace Drum Group. She can be reached at (248) 546-9740 or visit Motherpeace.net.