Last month, I wrote about my friend
Joey who passed away. Two weeks later another friend John called to
say he was in town because his mother was dying of cancer. She died
while he was here. He stopped by to see me before he returned to
Atlanta. We reminisced about his mom. We laughed recalling one time
when his mom had about 50 yellow singing canaries in a huge cage in
her backyard. She was breeding them. John opened the cage to feed
them and as he turned around, they all flew out, scattering all over
the yard. He frantically tried to retrieve them but only caught a
couple. Wow, did he get in trouble for that one!
The mailman came as John and I were
saying our goodbyes in the front yard. I went into the house and
opened the mail. I opened an envelope that contained a note from Fr.
Henry, one of my cousins, informing me that his brother, Fr. Ziggy,
whom I have written about before in this column, had just died. Fr.
Henry wrote that Fr. Ziggy had addressed an envelope and was going
to write to me but ended up going into the hospital. He died there.
This was the third death around me in a very short period of time...
yet I felt it wasn’t over.
That following Sunday morning, I
watched Joel Osteen on TV at 7:30 am. He talked about having a song
in your heart. He told of how his father had a song in his heart all
the time. He would sing, whistle and hum constantly. Joel’s message
was to keep a song in our heart even when things are not the best.
Part of my morning ritual is to go
into the living room and to greet and sing good morning to my
lovebird Ralph. When I approached his cage that morning, Ralph lay
motionless in the bottom of his cage. I softly called his name,
“Ralph, Ralph.” He was unresponsive to my call. He was dead.
Ralph and Alice were lovebirds that
had been together for 4 years. Alice died and Ralph was alone. I
felt a soul connection to Ralph from the first time I saw him. I
offered to take him and keep him for a week. Well, it turned out to
be 12 years.
We bonded in no time at all. I knew
he was from the rainforest and I happened to have some rainforest
cassettes and played them for Ralph. He seemed to like them. I had
gotten a new feathered friend. Ralph didn’t like people touching
him. I felt such a connection to Ralph and wanted to win his trust.
After having him for a week and feeding him daily, I left the cage
door open to see what he would do. He came to the opening and hopped
on to my shoulder. He walked across to the other shoulder and the
trust between us was created .One week led to another and another.
He became my buddy. We went places together. He would perch on my
shoulder as I drove. We would wash dishes and do the laundry
together. He even took showers with me, perching himself on my towel
bar and taking in the mist of the shower as if he were in the rain
forest. I even bought him a little cage to take him back and forth
to visit my friends. Then I put the little cage on top of the big
cage and he had an instant condo birdcage.
My daughter Theresa moved back home
for eight years. While there, she thought Ralph was a character and
he made her laugh. One time, we were in the living room watching a
movie and eating popcorn, Ralph got on top of his cage and began
squawking. It was like he was scolding us because he didn’t have any
popcorn. So we gave him some popcorn and he was happy. We learned
his bird talk.
Theresa lived upstairs. Ralph would
hop up one step at a time, making his little bird chirping sounds to
visit Theresa. You could hear his little nails making noise as he
scampered across the tiled floor to be with her. Other times he
would run across the floor into my bedroom and crawl up the side of
my bedspread to be with me. Then he would get on my shoulder as I
lay on my side and we would sleep together. He was so peaceful and
happy and brought lots of joy into my life. I would take Ralphie
outside with me in his little cage and he would connect with all the
other birds flitting around. He had a fun, mischievous personality.
They say that lovebirds mate for
life. The pet shop told me after Alice died that he would not bond
with a human. But that isn’t what happened. I became Ralph’s mate.
We were both connected by this special love and bond that we shared.
Animals are as connected to us as we are to them. The word “animal”
comes from a Latin root that means soul.
That Sunday when Ralph died, I
called my daughter Theresa and her boyfriend Johnny and my twin
sister Gloria. We talked about how much we missed Ralph. We shared
special times that we’d had with Ralph and how much joy he had
brought us. Then about two hours later, Johnny said,” I think its
time” I knew what he meant. I had
place
d
little Ralphie in a small wicker basket filled with shredded
newspapers, (He loved to shred my mail, even my bills!) I carried
him outside into the backyard.
Johnny dug a little hole
between the two fruit trees
that my mother had planted for me several years before. We planted
some little roses on his grave. Tears filled our eyes as we said
goodbye to him.
This has been a long week for me
since Ralph died. I’ve been numb and sad. I miss hearing him squawk
and chirp and being his mischievous self. He would happily greet me
every time I came home. Ralphie always shared his unconditional love
and joy with everyone. The living room seems empty and so quiet now.
Yesterday when I came to work, I
felt a shift within me. A song came into my head and lingered. It is
a Barry Manilow song. The words uplifted me and held a message that
I wanted to share with you.
I’m singin’ to the world,
its time we let the spirit come in,
Let it come on in.
I’m singin to the world,
What’s the point in puttin’ it down?
There’s so much love to share,
I’m singin to the world,
don’t you see it all comes around?
The feeling’s everywhere,
We’ve been closin’ our eyes,
day after day, covered in clouds,
losin our way,
Hey but it’s daybreak,
If you wanna believe,
it can be daybreak,
ain’t no time to grieve,
Said it’s daybreak,
if you’ll only believe
And let it shine, shine, shine
All around the world.
I focus on the positive things I recall about Ralph and hold those
memories. I still have sad moments but now I have a happy song in my
heart, even though Ralphie is no longer with me, I’ll continue to
keep that song going and one day I will find another lovebird.
I’m singin’ to the world...
ain’t no time to grieve...
let it shine, shine, shine...
