Sooner or later on the spiritual path, you come to the realization that we are all connected. As Marianne Williamson says, “there’s only one of us here.” So, it naturally follows that in our caring about and unconditionally loving others, we are loving ourselves.

So, how do you learn to unconditionally love yourself? Most of us come into adulthood with this essential capacity to love ourselves missing. We simply haven’t been taught how to do it. Perhaps the first time we heard the phrase, “Love yourself,” we misinterpreted it’s meaning. Daphne Rose Kingma says, “Self-love is not narcissism. Nor is it egotism, greed, self-righteousness, self-involvement, stubbornness or conceit, all of which have given real self-love a bad name. Rather, it is the singing spring from which each of us can become our most authentic self.”

Isn’t that beautiful how she put it? And she should know. As a therapist, Daphne has helped thousands of people understand their relationships. In her book Loving Yourself she states, “Self-love is also mysterious. For when we really learn to love ourselves, we no longer have to work at it every minute. By continually reminding ourselves how important we are, how important loving ourselves is, we eventually arrive at a place where self-compassion comes more easily, almost automatically. From the well of quiet acceptance, from the practice of a gentle unconditional care of ourselves, we can reach out to love others with exquisite generosity and bounteous open hearts.” This is at the core of what it means to be a spiritually-connected being. And there is no greater time than right now to cultivate the quality of loving ourselves. We are being called forth to express that unconditional love, to become all we are destined to be.

So, when we come right down to it, as Daphne says, “Self-love is above all a spiritual matter. For it is only when we can actually see and feel ourselves as one of the threads in the vast human shawl, as deeply, indeed, unconditionally received by a passionately caring and beautifully ordered universe, that we can truly love ourselves. This true, felt sense of ourselves as a precious part of the universe is really the ultimate source from which we can love others.”

February is when we focus on our loving relationships. We buy flowers, candy and cards to express how we feel to those special people in our lives. Let’s remember to acknowledge ourselves with loving thoughts. Do something extra special to pamper and nurture yourself this month. Thank your physical body for serving you so well. Appreciate all your parts; your fingers, toes, arms, legs, face, hair, skin, organs, blood, digestive system... all the inner and outer areas right down to the very cells. You will be amazed at how the body responds to your expressions of love and gratitude. This technique really works wonders. Try it. You will have received the best Valentine ever… from YOU!

Express your appreciation to “you” daily, just like Streisand did in the movie Funny Girl, when she glanced in a mirror and proclaimed, “Hello, gorgeous!”

Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all