Have you ever wondered why it is you meet the people you meet? Have you ever attracted the same type of people and situations over and over again? Have you ever been confused about why people act a particular way around you? Almost everyone, at one time or another, has pondered these questions.

All of our relationships are reflections of what we desire in our lives or in other words, what we have communicated to the Universe as wanting to learn, either consciously or unconsciously. If we allow ourselves to look at our relationships as mirrors to our own personal growth experience, we can understand our lessons and desires from an entirely different perspective.

Why do some of us attract the same type of partners, time after time? We can get into a pattern of thought which communicates to the creativity center in our mind and also to the Universe which is ready to do the fulfillment of what you desire. For example, a friend of mine attracts certain men in her life. They are charismatic, aloof and treat her as less than an equal. Looking at this scenario, what is she receiving out of these relationships, which usually only upset her and make her feel unworthy? Just that. When she decided to act differently, took control and decided to feel good about herself, she consciously stood up and did not allow others to make her feel unworthy. As a result, she found that she did not attract any more of these people into her life.

All of our relationships with friends, co-workers and acquaintances tell us something about ourselves. When you ask the Universe for learning, the teacher appears and they can show up anywhere and everywhere in any form if we pay attention. When we recognize the teachings of the people around us, we have the power to improve our circumstances and ourselves.

So what can we do to improve and get in tune with our relationships? Here are a few examples.

1. Write down what is lacking in your relationships or what irritates you. By creating this list of what doesn’t make you feel good, you can learn to focus on what you actually do want from your connections with other people. It can also help you begin making small changes in who you look at as a potential mate or friend.

2. Acknowledge your gratitude for having these connections with other people. Rather than focusing on how much you want things to change, begin to focus on your relationships as learning about yourself. Using gratitude to convey that you are on your learning path can help communicate a sense of well being all through yourself that others can perceive as well. By focusing on what the other person is helping you with, you can shift your attention to their positive traits as well, thus allowing yourself to create a different reaction to being in this person’s presence and allowing the connection to shift into a better relationship.

3. Use mindful meditation to let go of the past. Using guided imagery and metaphors can be beneficial in releasing past hurts. You could imagine that events are shapes all through your energy field and imagine that a white light cleanses each and every one of them, leaving you feeling lighter and happier. You can also think of an etheric chord between you and the other person. An etheric chord represents the connection with you and another person or object as they travel both from you and to you. By emphasizing the release of negative thoughts and circumstances with another person, you can visualize that you are releasing negativity by giving the other person their chord back and simultaneously taking your chord back from them. Next, allow these chords to dissolve into white light. This will send a message to your whole being, physical and non-physical that states, “I am letting go of the negativity between the other person and myself.” By using metaphors and imagery, you communicate with your unconscious self what you desire, which will help you transform your future experiences.

By choosing to recognize the learning experiences offered by our connections with other people, we can bring ourselves into better spiritual alignment with ourselves and our transcendence. This can enable us to live happier, healthier and more productive lives as well as create better relationships with other people. As you continue to work with these learning possibilities with others, you can create a different response to life, enabling yourself to feel more balanced and in tune with yourself and everything around you.

Amy Hale is a Certified Hypnotherapist and Stress Management Consultant specializing in HypnoCoaching and Medical Hypnosis. She is the owner of Changing Lanes in Ann Arbor, Michigan and can be reached at ahale@changing-lanes.com or (888) 423-8826.