Embrace Silence And Solitude Part 1 by Susan Smith
Jones
Learn to get in touch
with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life
has a purpose. I love to be alone. I never found a companion so
companionable as solitude.
Henry David Thoreau
For most of you, the
holidays meant long days of endless errands and constant noise,
must-attend social engagements, out-of-control spending and
overindulging in foods we know we should not eat. Trapped in this
whirlwind of excess and activity, it’s no wonder that most people reach
January 1st feeling exhausted, overweight, depressed and stressed. But
now it’s time to start taking better care of yourself – make a fresh
start and choose your very best health and life. For the next few
months, please consider me your personal holistic lifestyle coach; I
will guide you on simple ways you can look and feel great – throughout
2008. Together, let’s make 2008 your best year ever!
No one disputes that
regular exercise and a wholesome diet are essential ingredients for
being radiantly healthy and living a balanced, vibrant life. But I
believe there are other equally important elements that are often
overlooked. In the pursuit of our physical goals such as a strong, fit,
well-toned, healthy body, we often neglect the importance of nurturing
the emotional and spiritual sides of our being from which true
happiness, peace and fulfillment emanate. To nurture your emotional and
spiritual side, two processes are tops on my list – solitude and
silence, the topics of this article and two of my most favorite subjects
ever, guaranteed to start your new year off on a positive note.
It was Paramahansa
Yogananda who said: “We should not allow noise and sensory activities to
tear down the ladder of our inner attention, because we are listening
for the footsteps of God to come into our body temple.” I love that
thought. Noise certainly seems to be part of our everyday lives – from
the alarm clock in the morning to the traffic outside and the
never-ending sounds of voices, radio and television. Our bodies and
minds appear to acclimate to these outside intrusions. Or do they?
Two decades ago, the
Committee on Environmental Quality of the Federal Council for Science
and Technology found that “growing numbers of researchers fear the
dangerous and hazardous effects of intense noise on human health are
seriously underestimated.” Similarly, the late Vice President Nelson
Rockefeller noted that when people are fully aware of the damage that
noise can inflict on man, “peace and quiet will surely rank along with
clean skies and pure waters as top priorities for our generation.”
More recent studies,
writes Michael D. Seidman, MD, in his terrific book, Save Your Hearing
Now, suggest that we pay a price for adapting to noise: higher blood
pressure, heart rate and adrenaline secretion; heightened aggression;
impaired resistance to disease; and a sense of helplessness. Studies
indicate that when we can control noise, its effects are much less
damaging.
SOUNDS OF SILENCE
While I haven’t been able
to find any studies on the effects of quiet in repairing the stress of
noise, I know intuitively that most of us love quiet and need it
desperately. We are so used to noise in our lives that silence can
sometimes feel awkward and unsettling. On vacation, for instance, when
quiet prevails, we may have trouble sleeping. But choosing times of
silence can enrich the quality of our lives tremendously. If you find
yourself overworked, stressed-out, irritated or tense, rather than
heading for a coffee or snack break, maybe all you need is a silence
break.
Everyone at some time has
experienced the feeling of being overwhelmed by life. Everyone, too, has
felt the need to escape, to find a quiet, secluded place to experience
the peace of spirit and to be alone with quiet thoughts. Creating times
of silence in your life takes commitment and discipline. Most of the
time, periods of silence must be scheduled into your day’s activities or
you’ll never have any.
Maybe you can carve out
times of silence while at home where you can be without radio,
television, telephones or voices. If you live in a home with other
family members, the best quiet time for you may be early in the morning
before the others arise. In that silence, you can become more aware,
more sensitive to your surroundings and more in touch with the wholeness
of life.
SOLITUDE
From quiet time or
silence, you recognize the importance of solitude. Silence and solitude
go hand in hand. In silence and solitude, you reconnect with your self.
Solitude helps to clear your channels, fosters peace and brings
spiritual lucidity. When you retreat from the outside world to go
within, you can be at the very center of your being and reacquaint
yourself with your spiritual nature – the essence of your being and all
life.
Outside noise tends to
drown out the inner life – the music of the soul. Only in silence and
solitude can we go within and nurture our spiritual lives. Within each
of us there is a silence waiting to be embraced. It’s the harbor of the
heart. When you rediscover that harbor, your life will never be the
same. In the Bible we read, “There is silence in heaven” (Revelations
8:1) and “For God alone my soul waits in silence” (Psalms 62:1).
Mystics, saints and
spiritual leaders have advocated periods of silence and solitude for
spiritual growth. Saint John of the Cross wrote that only in silence can
the soul hear the divine. Jesus prayed much by himself and spent long
hours in silent communion with God. Gandhi devoted every Monday to a day
of silence. In silence, he was better able to meditate and pray, to seek
within himself the solutions to all of the problems and responsibilities
that he carried. When I read about Gandhi’s practice of silence and
solitude several years ago, I was so inspired and moved that I decided
to adopt a similar discipline in my life. So now one day each week, for
two consecutive days once a month and for several days in a row at each
change of season, I spend time in solitude, silence, prayer and fasting.
“You long for peace. You
think of peace as being goodwill towards each other, goodwill among the
nations, the laying down of arms. But peace is far more than this; it
can only be understood and realized within your heart. It lies beneath
all the turmoil and noise and clamor of the world, beneath feeling,
beneath thought. It is found in the deep, deep silence and stillness of
the soul. It is spirit: it is God,” writes White Eagle in one of my
all-time favorite books, The Quiet Mind. Invite quiet and solitude into
your life and find that place within you where peace and stillness
reside.
How do you feel about
being alone? Aloneness is quite different from loneliness. In the book
Courage to Be, Paul Tillich expressed this idea beautifully when he
wrote the following: “Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of
being alone. It has created the word loneliness to express the pain of
being alone. And it has created the word solitude to express the glory
of being alone.”
Loneliness is something
you do to yourself. Have you ever experienced feeling lonely even when
you’re with other people? We’re so used to being with others and so
unaccustomed to being by ourselves that we have, in a sense, become a
people and not persons. We must reclaim ourselves and reconnect with our
wholeness and the peace of solitude.
CHOOSE TO MAKE SOLITUDE
YOUR FRIEND
Everyone needs times of
privacy and solitude. In my counseling, I always encourage couples to
spend occasional time alone, not only daily, but also at regular
intervals during the week, month and year. In this way, you regain your
identity as individuals. You bring so much more to the marriage when you
come from feeling whole, complete and strong. Solitude fosters these
qualities.
With a little creativity,
a marriage can accommodate solitude and privacy. I have witnessed all
types of arrangements, including separate vacations, private rooms in
the house, living separately during the week and coming together on
weekends and having special times during the day in which each person is
left alone.
I know several people who
do everything possible to preclude being alone. Often this is because
they have never tried it, they are afraid of loneliness or they simply
are uncomfortable with themselves. They haven’t yet discovered the peace
of their own company. It’s not scary to be by yourself; it’s absolutely
wonderful! Loneliness is not a state of being; it’s a state of mind. You
can choose to change your state of mind.
I realize that I live my life differently from most. I go to great
lengths to secure my time of solitude and privacy. It’s a great comfort
to me to be by myself; it’s like returning home to an old friend or
lover after being away too long. Solitude is not a luxury; it is a right
and a necessity.
Through the years, I have
gone on several vision quests. A vision quest is a time of solitude
during which you can take time for looking into your soul, finding a new
direction or path or simply reconnecting with your Higher Self. On these
occasions, I usually go to the mountains or the ocean for a time of
prayer, meditation, fasting, reflection and aloneness. I spend much of
my time outdoors, being open to the beauty and love all around me. In
this peaceful, reflective time, the earth, the sky, the wind, the
animals, the incredible beauty and the divine order of everything take
on a new and personal meaning. I commune with the trees, the moon, the
flowers and the animals. My vision quests always show me that the most
profound lessons in life come to us through nature, solitude and
silence.
It is my contention that
all of the other good things we endeavor to provide for ourselves,
including sound nutrition, daily exercise and material wealth, will be
of reduced value unless we learn to live in harmony with ourselves,
which means knowing ourselves and finding peace in our own company. This
peace is a natural occurrence of spending time alone in silence. In
spending time alone, we realize that we are never really alone and that
we can live more fully by focusing on inner guidance rather than on
externalities.
Embrace solitude. Walk in
silence among the trees, in the mountains, by the ocean, with the sun
and moon as your friends. Be by yourself and experience a whole new way
of celebrating yourself and life. Feel the heartbeat of silence. Bathe
in its light and love. Know within yourself that you are a child of God
and in your silence is Heaven.
When from our better
selves we have too long
Been parted by the hurrying world, and droop,
Sick of its business, of its pleasures tired,
How gracious, how benign, is Solitude.
William Wordsworth
© Susan Smith Jones,
MS, PhD
© Susan Smith Jones, MS,
PhD is an internationally renowned motivational speaker, frequent
radio/TV talk show guest, culinary instructor, holistic lifestyle coach
and author of 17 books, including “Be Healthy~Stay Balanced: 21 Simple
Choices to Create More Joy & Less Stress” and “The Healing Power of
NatureFoods: 50 Revitalizing SuperFoods & Lifestyle Choices to Promote
Vibrant Health” (Hay House, 3-book series). To order NatureFoods, please
call Hay House (800) 654-5126. To learn more about Susan and her work or
to order her other books and audio programs, visit:
www.SusanSmithJones.com
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