With each recurrence of anger or jealousy or fear, you are given the choice to challenge it or to give into it. Each time you challenge it, it loses power and you gain power.

Gary Zukav, Seat of the Soul

Anger is one of those emotions that can be both positive and negative. On the positive side, anger causes us to realize through contrast what is important to us and what changes are desired. Without anger, the oppressed would stay in their uncomfortable circumstances rather than seek freedom or change. Anger takes us to a level of “It must change, and I must take action now.” Occasional bouts with anger are natural and necessary, but chronic anger is destructive.

When we think of an angry person we often picture someone yelling or shaking their fists in an outward display, but David Sobel, MD and Robert Ornstein, PhD.authors of the newsletter, Mental Medicine in Practice, remind us that there are subtle expressions of anger that many of us display. Whenever we are into blame, discrediting others, sarcasm, cynicism, sniping, huffiness or the silent treatment, we are acting out of anger.

The down side of anger is that it takes its toll on our health. Anger is based on fear, fear of losing something important to us. It signals the body to release the stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol that produce the flight or fight response. The intense emotions trigger the stress hormones to enter the bloodstream causing the heart rate and blood pressure to rise. The blood tends to clot more easily as a protection against possible injury. The stress response also suppresses the immune system temporarily making the angry person more vulnerable to illness. The stress response activates mobilization of the body’s fat stores for increased energy. If the fat is not used up through increased activity, it causes cholesterol levels in the bloodstream to rise and be deposited in the arteries. When the stress response occurs repeatedly, the above effects damage the arteries that lead to the heart causing them to narrow and decrease blood flow resulting in chest pain or heart attacks. People who are chronically angry or hostile are most at risk.

Anger also has a negative effect on our social relationships. Chronic anger drives away the very people who could offer social support to soothe and comfort the angry person. Chronically hostile people might be more inclined to look to substances such as nicotine, alcohol, drugs or overeating to feel better.

In the past, it was believed that anger should be vented and yet, modern research suggests that venting can actually cause people to get even more angry. On the other hand, suppressing anger is not healthy either. Sooner or later the anger will come out. What is most desirable according to Sobel and Ornstein is “When we do get angry, we can choose how to react without denying anger or giving in to it.”

Some of their suggestions for defusing anger and hostility are:

• Keep an anger log over a period of time looking for patterns, recurring themes, childhood strategies, physical signals your body displays when you are angry.

• Reason with yourself, try to look at the situation differently to see how else you could interpret the situation to ease your feelings. Is it really worth getting angry about? Is my anger justified? Will getting angry make a difference?

• Distract yourself. Use thought displacement to redirect your focus.

• Cool off. Breathe deeply, meditate, go for a long walk. Speak slowly, softly.

• Laugh at yourself. Try to see humor in the situation.

• Stay in the present. Focus on the incident that is bothering you now – avoid “always” or “never” statements

• Practice empathy. Give the other person some slack. Do you really know what caused them to act that way? Perhaps they are in pain, physically or emotionally.

• Practice forgiveness. Forgiveness frees you of the painful thoughts.

• Help others. You will feel less isolated and you may expand your ability to empathize with others.

When we strive to respond in new ways, rather than react with anger, we break the old patterns. Spiritual growth takes place when we emerge from an unproductive behavior and explore new, more desirable ways of dealing with life’s challenges.

Donna May MA Ed, is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Stress Management and Pain Relief Specialist and a practitioner of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), Reiki and Yuen Energetics. She utilizes spiritual principles and A Course in Miracles teachings in her counseling. She is available for classes, public presentations or private consultations. Donna can be reached at (248) 626-4859 or via email at: DonnMay27@comcast.net.