THE HOLISTIC LAWYER

 by Mindy Hitchcock
 

Look under your feet. The great opportunity is where you are. Every place is under the stars. Every place is the center of the Universe…”
John Burroughs

I often say that divorce can be the catalyst for an extraordinary life. When you are going through one, you may have reason to question this statement. Nevertheless, I stand by it, because I know from my own experience. Divorce is a tremendous opportunity to recreate your life from something that has not worked into fulfillment, joy and peace.

Divorce is not the only possible gateway to an extraordinary life. Every challenge we face is a gateway. From the worst times come the best, if we are only willing to see the opportunity. It always involves a choice.

Every challenge that comes to us, in whatever circumstance it finds us, ultimately brings us to a point of crisis. Often, that crisis involves pain. If we choose to see the challenge as an opportunity, we can begin to recreate our lives, from right where we stand. If we choose to see ourselves as a victim, life’s difficulties will quickly overcome us and subdue us.

The great challenges of life tend to find us. We don’t usually go looking for them. Because of that fact, it’s easy to believe that we are powerless when they come. Divorce is like that: It changes the routines that have been customary to us and it threatens the relationships, rituals and customs that we have come to expect would continue. And so we have to weigh our options. That is the pivot point; the fulcrum; the point of power. We can create new options, navigate a new path and create a better life or we can remain a prisoner to our own regret. We can rise to the challenges or we can let them push us down. We can turn lemons into the sweetest lemonade we ever had or we can sit around and lament their bitter taste.

There is a poem I like by Ralph Marston, “Rise to the Challenges” and it expresses my own personal belief and I am sure many others, that everything that happens is in Divine right order. There are no mistakes.

Consider, for example, being in a lawsuit. No one hangs around a courthouse for kicks. Even if you started the lawsuit, you really don’t want to be there. Usually it is the last resort in a bad situation. If you are the person being sued, you really don’t want to be there! Both parties have expectations about the result and usually the result is not what anyone expected. This is because so many actors come into play, including the judge, the lawyers and sometimes a jury. Yet I have found that when we learn to accept the outcome of a lawsuit as perfect, then we step into our power and find many gifts in the result that is before us. We see the lesson that the Universe is teaching us. If we bristle and fight against it, then the lesson is lost and we will have to learn it another day. The Universe is patient. If we refuse to get the point, the same situation will return to us, over and over, until we do.

You may say, “I am scared stiff! Everything is falling apart around me! I don’t think I have the strength. How do I ‘rise to the challenges’?” There are as many answers to that question as there are trying circumstances. So, instead, I offer a question, from Mr. Marston’s poem that has lit my way through many trials:

When faced with a challenge, ask yourself this question: “How can I respond to this challenge so that a year from now, looking back at the experience, I’ll be overwhelmingly thankful that it came along?”

You may not get an immediate answer. But if you are patient and willing to hear the answer, I promise you that it will come.

Several years ago, I met someone who pretended to really care for me. I believed him. I was wrong. As time passed, the circumstances revealed that he was a con man and a criminal. I made a complaint to the authorities because I respect myself and I owed it to the public. Nevertheless, I refused to call myself a “victim” because I am not. I let this person into my life. Instead, I called myself the “complainant,” as they do on police reports. I did what I had to do.

Nonetheless, the pain remained. In the days and months that followed, I was haunted by the treachery that had come so close to me. Sleep fled from my eyes. So I decided to make use of the energy and converted negative energy into something positive. I poured my energies into productive work. I started to question my beliefs; whether I really believed them and how they could be reconciled with what had happened.

When I wrote, I would ask myself “What am I going through right now? How do I honestly feel about it?” and would write accordingly, not what I thought sounded good, but what I truly believed.

Well, the work “worked.” Out of deep pain and sorrow came a harvest of prosperity. Out of my failing came a new authenticity and some of the best writing I had ever done to that point. Best of all, at 50 years old, I became more of who I truly am.

This crisis also affected my outlook on other people. For starters, I came to a deeper appreciation of the people in my life who really do love me. Looking out beyond my inner circle, I became more compassionate towards people in general. Looking back a year after the events that turned my world upside down, I am overwhelmingly thankful for the challenge, the crisis and the loss, that came to my life.

Are you facing trials right now? Of course you are; you’re breathing! Now, ask yourself “the question.” Begin to ponder how you can approach the traumatic event before you in such a way that it actually becomes a blessing. Know that you are more than equal to the challenges you face. Believe in the Power that created you. Believe in yourself. I challenge you. Then, a year from now, look back and see if that crisis event was not in fact a blessing in disguise.

We do not learn from successes. We learn from our failures. Let go of your pride. Be still and have the courage to sit in muddy waters until they settle and become clear. There is a new day ahead. Welcome the new with open arms and rise to the challenges.

 © 2007 Mindy L. Hitchcock