 BOOK
TALK
A Thousand Names For
Joy
by Gayl Woityra
It
is summer and time to weed the garden.
Metaphorically speaking, this weeding can also
refer to clearing out some of our own bad
habits. Current psychology and spiritual
teachers agree that many of our most
dysfunctional behaviors originate in our
thinking processes. One current author-teacher,
Byron Katie, has developed a technique that many
could use to bring more joy into their lives.
Imagine how we would feel if we could eliminate
all those “woulda, coulda, shoulda” mantras from
our lives.
We have found
similar messages in Wayne Dyer’s book, The Power
of Intention (Hay House, 2004). Dyer states,
“There’s no actual stress or anxiety in the
world; it’s your thoughts that create these
false beliefs.” It is Byron Katie, however, who
has worked out a technique to help us actualize
the process of changing our thinking. She first
introduced the Four steps to the process in
Loving What Is (Random House, 2002). Dyer calls
her “one of the truly great and inspiring
teachers of our time.”
Readers will also find her self-inquiry system
described in her newest book, our topic for
discussion in Book Talk this month: A Thousand
Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way
Things Are by Byron Katie with Stephen Mitchell
(Harmony Books, 2007). Stephen Mitchell, Katie’s
husband, is a noted author of books on various
religions. Huston Smith, famed author of The
World’s Religions (Harper, 1991), calls
Mitchell’s Tao Te Ching “as close to being
definitive for our time as any I know.”
Because A Thousand Names for Joy presents a
dialogue between wisdom from the Tao Te Ching
and Katie’s responses to those ideas, readers
will gain the most from this work if they take
two steps. First, if readers are unfamiliar with
the Tao, they could explore Stephen Mitchell’s
translation (Harper Collins, 1988, Modern
Classics edition, 2006). Or they could read
about the Tao in books about world religions,
such as the aforementioned book by Huston Smith.
For a quick reference on the internet, check
www.Wikipedia.com for a brief review.
If
readers are already familiar with “The Work” of
Katie, they can jump right in at page one. On
the other hand, I would advise readers who are
not familiar with her technique to skip to the
“Appendix” in A Thousand Names for Joy for a
clear explanation of “How to do the Work.” Lots
more help is available on Katie’s website:
www.thework.com, an excellent site that also
includes worksheets to download.
Once readers have
some basic background for the Tao and a general
idea of Katie’s “Work,” they are ready to read
this delightful, thought-provoking book. Katie
has learned to deal with everyday life in such a
different way from how most of us function, each
page offers opportunities for readers to stop to
ponder: I wonder how my life situation would be
different if I put some of these ideas to work
?”
Her approach begins with simple (although hardly
easy) “Four Questions and Turnaround.” She calls
this “Inquiry” and notes that “noticing thoughts
works while you’re meditating, but it may not
work so well when you get a parking ticket or
when your partner leaves you.” And so she gives
us four questions to answer (about any thought,
issue or situation):
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you believe that
thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought? and
then
Turn it around.
This last step helps us consider other options,
alternatives and to dig deeper into truth. If we
really do The Work, using this outline, we
really will experience major changes in our
peace of mind. It’s an amazing process –
practical, with positive outcomes.
Now for the book, itself. Given that the Tao Te
Ching, as translated and interpreted by Stephen
Mitchell, has 81 verses, it is logical that
Katie’s book has 81 chapters, each fairly brief
– often 1-3 pages in length. That brevity and
conciseness makes this book highly readable.
Readers could easily read a half dozen or so
discussions at a time or perhaps use one each
day for a thoughtful basis for a meditation.
The 81 Katie dialogues with the Tao are
interspersed with four transcriptions of actual
dialogues between Katie and workshop clients.
Called “The Work in Action,” those interviews
took place before audiences of about 350 people.
They include discussions of personal problems,
including dyslexia, parent-child relationships,
partnership break-ups and siblings dealing with
the death of a parent. In each case Katie leads
the client through the steps of The Work in
order for them to heal. Readers will also gain a
clear view of how The Work helps us perceive our
mixed-up mental views toward life.
I
must say I found the entire book extremely
insightful and helpful. I could see its
relationship to other wise approaches to
everyday life, such as cognitive psychology and
the “Serenity Prayer.” I found myself applying
the ideas to everyday situations and seeing
positive outcomes for myself.
Katie’s philosophy is quite basic and involves
what she calls “waking up to reality.” Formerly
suffering from severe depression, paranoia, rage
and suicidal thoughts, in a life-changing moment
in 1986 she suddenly gained new insights that
turned her life around. Since then she has
traveled the world helping others find peace and
joy.
What was the insight? She says, “I discovered
that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered,
but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t
suffer and that this is true for every human
being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found
that suffering is optional. I found a joy within
me that has never disappeared, not for a single
moment. That joy is in everyone, always.”
Admittedly, cynics may call Katie’s philosophy
unrealistic or too optimistic. Thousands of
people, however, have discovered that it works.
No one, even Katie, says that her simple system
is easy to accomplish. Perhaps that is why she
calls it “The Work.” As readers wend their way
through this wonderful book, they are sure to
gain more and more understanding of The Work and
hopefully, they can begin to use the process to
bring peace and joy into their own lives.
Since the book itself is composed of relatively
brief discussions, we can’t really discuss it
holistically. Therefore I’ll share some of the
comments that moved me. Often they are just a
sentence in length, but as such they work well
for personal meditations. For example, the Tao
notes: “The tao that can be told is not the
eternal Tao.” Katie explains, “You can’t express
reality in words.” But isn’t that what we try to
do all the time? We constantly, through the
stories we create in our heads, try to find or
create explanations and meanings for ourselves
out of our life situations. In doing so, our
minds create thoughts of what we would like life
to be, what it “could” be or “should” be. In
that way we are dealing with illusions, not what
is real. Katie says, “It’s crazy to argue with
what is.”
Now that last little statement is very simple,
but very profound. Yet that is what all or most
of us, do all the time. Most of our suffering
comes from our resistance to reality or to
arguing with “what is.” What results from this
are labeling, judgments, anger, resentments,
fear, confusion and all the other things that
make us, ultimately, miserable. Each short
section in Katie’s book deals with these issues
in various ways, making the point, over and over
again that “Anger, sadness or frustration lets
us know that we’re at war with the way of it”
(whatever that “it” is). With this gentle
repetition applied in a variety of situations,
readers start to “get it.” Throughout her book
Katie explores those essential, but often most
troubling of human issues, such as life itself,
death, love, work, relationships and even
terrorism and war.
Here are some more Katie statements. “All
suffering is mental.” This point does not ignore
the reality of pain. But the point is, “To be in
pain and believe that you shouldn’t be in pain –
that’s hell.” Constantly, Katie challenges us to
questions our “beliefs.” She calls this
“inquiry.” Other writers on this subject may
call this “acceptance.” It is a very common
lesson human beings struggle to learn.
More Katie wisdom: “As we question what we
believe, we come to see that we’re not who we
thought we were.” And “The litmus test for
self-realization is a constant state of
gratitude.” Readers will grow to see that Katie
sees everything that “is” as perfect and right
in the moment. She is grateful for everything.
Even what others would label as ordinary or
unpleasant or even painful, she finds as
wonderful opportunities for new experiences or
for spiritual growth. She says if she had a
prayer, it would be: “God, spare me from the
desire for love, approval or appreciation.
Amen.” Now wouldn’t that be a challenge for most
of us?
Katie says, “The things in the world that we
think are so terrible are actually great
teachers.” She also says, “There are no
accidents in my world. When you’re a lover of
what is, your suffering is over.”
Some of Katie’s most practical advice can be
easily tested. Readers will, no doubt, find that
some of her statements resonate with their own
situations. That’s the place then to pay
attention and to see how you can apply the ideas
to your own life. For example, I especially paid
attention when Katie said, “When you’re feeling
sad... just notice that your sadness is the
effect of believing a prior thought.” She
advises us to “locate the thought, put it on
paper and question it... It was you who made
yourself sad – no one else – and it’s you who
can free yourself. This is very good news.”
More Katie: “When
you love what is, it becomes so simple to live
in the world because you understand that
everything is exactly as it should be.”
“Without the pull
of beliefs, the mind stays serenely in itself
and is available for whatever comes along.”
“Sadness is always
a sign that you’re believing a stressful thought
that isn’t true for you.”
“Sadness is the
war with what is. You can experience it only
when you’re arguing with God.”
“The end of
suffering happens in this very moment... and
compassion begins at home.”
From the Tao: “The universe is forever out of
control and... trying to dominate events goes
against the current of the Tao.” Of course we
want peace, but what can we control? “The area
where we do have control (is in) our thinking.”
On
page after page of A Thousand Names for Joy I
found inspiring statements that I can apply to
my own life. I expect most readers will respond
to this work by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell
in a similar way. This is a book we can all
really use. Katie is a magnificent teacher. I’m
so grateful to have met her in this book.
Here are two final Katie quotations to end our
discussion: “Everything happens at exactly
the right moment, neither too soon, nor too
late. You don’t have to like it – it’s just
easier if you do.” And the really short one that
made me sit up: “Hell is asking why.”
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