Self-worth cannot be verified by others. You are worthy because you say it is so. If you depend on others for your value , it is “other-worth.”

Dr. Wayne Dyer

Are there times when your self esteem could use a boost? Self esteem is not something that someone can do for us. It is acquired through life experiences in which we learn that we are capable and that we have worth. One of the antidotes to poor self esteem is learning a new skill. Whether it is successfully completing a computer class or acquiring a new arts and craft skill, knowledge and ability can increase self confidence and boost self esteem. In our society self esteem relates so much to what we do.

At another level self esteem is developed not so much by what we do but by recognizing who we are. Australian millionaire and author Peter Daniels suffered from low self esteem until at age 28, he really accepted and understood that he was a child of God. That realization changed his view of himself and motivated him to become all that he could be. He went from an illiterate brick layer to a self educated land developer in Australia. In elementary school, one of his teachers told Peter he was a bad boy and that he would never amount to anything. Many years later Peter Daniels wrote a book entitled, Miss Phillips, You Were Wrong.

Why do so many people suffer from the “I’m not good enough” syndrome? Often the root of these feelings is in childhood. Until a child is seven- or eight--years-old they are extremely impressionable. The critical factor, that part of the brain that evaluates and filters what we will allow into our subconscious mind, is immature. So a young child readily accepts the judgments of others. Telling a child that they are stupid, clumsy or ugly can have lasting harmful effects. When adults are criticized by others, they have the ability to reject that judgment as untrue. A young child usually will believe what the authority figure says is true of them. Frequently it is other children who make the disparaging remarks. How many children experienced the shame of being the last child chosen on the team because the message was “you are not good enough.” Poor self esteem usually results from an accumulation of experiences that created doubt about self worth.

The good news is we can heal the past, not by changing the events or the messages received but by changing our own perceptions. Nothing has any meaning except the meaning we give it. Choosing a new meaning can be self-empowering. The following steps can give your self esteem a boost:

1. Remind yourself that you started this life as a winner. (Of all the sperm cells rushing to fertilize the egg, you won!)

2. Acknowledge that you are here because some power in the universe thought it was important for you to be in physical form on the earth now.

3. See yourself as both a physical and non physical being.

4. Understand that you are unique even to your individual finger prints.

5. Remember that you are independent of the opinions of others.

6. Consider that the essence of who you really are is love. Then extend that love by doing something loving for another. Notice how good you feel about yourself when you give willingly and freely from the heart without expectations.

7. Learn something new that will add to your repertoire of accomplishments.

8. Say something to uplift and encourage other people to feel good about themselves.

9. Focus on your strengths rather than your perceived weaknesses.

10. Accept yourself as you are right now in present time.

11. Stop comparing yourself to others.

12 Utilize positive self talk to appreciate, accept and validate who you are.

As Marianne Williamson wrote in A Return to Love, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?’ Who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the Glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some or us; it is in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear; our presence automatically liberates others.”

Donna May MA Ed, is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Stress Management, Pain Relief Specialist, practitioner of NLP, Reiki and Yuen Energetics. She utilizes spiritual principles and “A Course in Miracles” teachings. Available for classes, public presentations or private consultations. (248) 626-4859 or DonnMay27@comcast.net.\