phenomeNEWS - This Month's Article

THE HEART OF LOVE
Evolving In Love

by Scott and Shannon Peck

We are all evolving in love. We make mistakes, we learn, we don’t learn, we try again, we read books, we dream, we go to workshops, we look more deeply within, and we evolve. In other words, we make love progress. If we don’t, we suffer and the suffering nudges us towards evolving. It’s a lot more satisfying, however, to evolve in love as a result of choice and enlightenment rather than suffering and heartache.

Where do you fit in the love descriptions below?

Fun and romance. Who doesn’t want to have fun and romance in their life? Dating for fun and romance is emotionally exciting and satisfying, especially when you are exploring relationships. But then the day comes when you say “Holy cow, I’m in a relationship! Is this what I want? What do I really want in love?”

These are good wake-up questions because they help you explore what is possible in love. Let’s look at some love options to help you decide what kind of love relationship you really do want or don’t want.

Option 1: Male-dominated relationships. What woman today would want to be in a male-dominated relationship where the guy calls the shots. Unfortunately, many women have either accepted this quality of love or are stuck in it. Male-dominated love has centuries of history behind it. For many men, this is the only model of love they grew up seeing or that they know. Some men still don’t want to give up their position of domination. How many relationships do you know that are male-dominated? A great many men, however, have evolved out of this old pattern of love and have no desire for this. In fact, more and more men don’t even want this for themselves. They have tasted the joy of equal partnership (oops, that’s coming up).

Option 2: Female-dominated relationships. Well, yes, lots of men are struggling in relationships where their love mate is asking them to constantly change and improve. Judgment feels like domination. What man would want this in love? How many relationships do you know that are female-dominated? Fortunately, most women don’t want this quality of love either, though they may sometimes make the mistake of falling in love with a man’s “potential” (with plans for improvement) rather than loving him “as is.” What a profound difference this attitude makes on a relationship!

Option 3: Partnerships. Now love gets more juicy. Each partner is respected and esteemed. Wow! That’s certainly love evolution. What percent of all relationships on Earth today do you think are partnerships? Well, let’s just say it’s evolving. Economic necessity is forcing many couples towards partnerships. The jobs or careers of both become equally important. In partnerships, there is an awakening to the million advantages of equality in a relationship. It’s so much more refreshing when each person gets to talk and each person is truly listened to. It’s so much more fulfilling when decision-making – in finances, career choices, raising kids, or love making – is done in partnership. Self esteem rises higher in partnerships and that, in turn, creates more love. It’s an upward-spiraling circle of better and better love.

Option 4: Soul mate love. Is there love even better than partnerships? Many today are beginning to get in touch with their highest desires in living – desires beyond earning money, raising kids, having a nice home and enjoying the good life. Let’s be clear. Money, kids, home, and the good life – that’s wonderful stuff. But many today are feeling a calling. Something is beckoning them higher in life. They feel a sense of mission and life purpose. It’s as if Soul is calling each of us forward to make our highest contribution to the universe.

Do you think this way? Many do. And, if you do, soul mate love gives you the opportunity to explore these higher dimensions of creativity and service. That’s what soul mates do. They honor each other’s highest selves. They want each person to soar into open space with the joy of being loved as they try and try and try again to fly. People on a mission in life need massive support. A relationship that drains you emotionally will completely sidetrack your highest life mission. A relationship that honors and empowers you will cause you to live in the substance of increasing bliss. Yes, you face all the same challenges in soul mate love, but love at this stage works towards win-win even in the darkest hours. Soul mate love employs love skills like listening to the heart, empathy, cherishing dreams, creating unity, asking love questions of the heart and offering sweet assurances that bind two lovers together as they each evolve even higher in love.

So, where do you fit in this picture of love options? What is your love choice? And yes, you do have a choice. Wherever you are in your love evolution or wherever your friends are, it’s important not to judge ourselves or others. We are all evolving in love. And it will never stop. That’s good news! Remember, you will most likely experience love at the level of what you accept for yourself – so it’s valuable to keep exploring your love options – so you can evolve higher. Whatever love reality you are in, we support you. And we implore you to love yourself as you evolve. That alone will evolve you to higher relationships in love. So what’s your next step in love evolution? Welcome to the heart of love.

Dr. Scott Peck & Shannon Peck are Co-founders of TheLoveCenter, a non-profit organization dedicated to “Raising universal love awareness & awakening a world of love masters.” They are authors of books on love & healing, including Love Skills for Personal & Global Transformation: Secrets of a Love Master. For lots more love & a free Love Quiz, visit www.TheLoveCenter.com they are holding the space for you to receive all the love you deserve! Email TheLoveCenter@aol.com or call (858)792-6018.