I’m sitting in the airport, about to board a plane for New York to meet friends at Omega’s Being Fearless Conference. I feel like I’ve already gotten some advanced training on the subject from two very special women.

One is Mamie Bregger, affectionately known as “Mae” by those who knew and loved her. And anyone who knew Mae, loved her. Though I knew her only as a client, just being in Mae’s presence was a gift. She was about 86-years-old when we met. She amazed me with her life’s stories, like practicing yoga or attending lectures of swamis and other spiritual gurus, before I was even born. She fearlessly lived her beliefs.

Mae was an exuberant, kindly, yet very straightforward lady. I loved listening to her. She was so full of life! Despite her age she was always busy. If I needed to reach her, I either called at the crack of dawn or waited until evening, because Mae was gone all day. She spent much of her time helping others, such as the phenomeNEWS staff with mailings.

Recently, Mae developed a physical malady that landed her in the hospital for a few days. While her family was visiting on March 19th I understand that she told them she was tired and it was time for her to go. An hour later, she did. No nonsense, just as always. Mae was someone who knew how to live in the moment, every moment. Although I knew her only briefly, Mae left a profound mark on my life for which I will always be grateful.

My other teacher in fearlessness is my mother, Rose Hitchcock. Though not so outspoken as Mae; my mom was barely in her 20’s when she decided to learn to fly – and did. She was animated, enthusiastic and loved an amazing variety of music. I still remember her playing the piano and singing at our parties when we were kids.

When my parents divorced, though, my mom took it very hard. She never really got over it and carried that pain with her for the rest of her life.

Yet she was always my most ardent cheerleader. No matter what my dream: singer, dancer, stockbroker, lawyer; she was behind me all the way. She was very proud of me as an attorney and to her I was the smartest lawyer on the face of the earth. I got the pleasure of being my mom’s successful daughter.

Every month for the past few years I would send her a copy of the phenomeNEWS so she could read my articles. She passed it around to all of her friends, but always insisted on getting it back. Sometimes she would question what I wrote. Other times, she’d say, “Min, I think that’s the best article you’ve ever written.” It felt good to hear her praise and I will miss sending her the phenomeNEWS every month.

Although mostly healthy all of her life, my mom was diagnosed with multiple myeloma last year and spent much of the year in the hospital and assisted living centers. She was in a lot of pain and when she learned that her kidneys were failing, she made a decision.

In our final conversation, a few days before she died, she told me, “I’m done. I’m not going back to the assisted living center.” My mom didn’t have a lot of money, but in that last conversation she said, “I gave your brother my car and your sister my piano. What can I give you?” I told her, “Mom, you’ve already given me the best gift of all. Whatever I wanted to do, no matter how crazy, you always believed in me. And that, is priceless.”

She responded, “I do believe in you, Mindy. I believe in you with all my heart. You can accomplish anything in this world that you set your mind to.” In that moment she gave me a gift for the rest of my life.

A day later, she stopped eating. And on Saturday morning while a friend sat reading the Bible to her, she suddenly sat straight up in bed and reached her arms skyward. Then she was gone. She was brave. She made her decision and never looked back. Fear haunted her during her life but at its end she regained her Self. She told us to scatter her ashes over the Rocky Mountains that she loved so much. They now enrich the earth.

Most of us live our lives in fear of one kind or another. Eckhart Tolle in his book The Power of Now says almost everyone on the planet is living in fear, be it outright terror or simply worry, stress and anxiety. Our ego mind is the cause of this, because it constantly lives in either the past or the future. It creates fear to enable itself to survive, for there is no room for ego in the present.

That is why we spend so much time rehashing old problems or predicting a dismal future based upon the past. It’s why we go from one “Oh no!” to another: “What if I lose my job? What if I can’t pay my bills? What if I get on the plane and it crashes?” Our ego often supplements these thoughts with dramatic visuals.

According to Tolle, this process usually ends just before death, when we suddenly and unmistakably realize that there is no past and there is no future; there is only now. The trick to living fearlessly, therefore, is to “die before you die.” But how?

Start by focusing on your immediate, physical surroundings. Look at the colors, the shapes of everything in your environment. Hear the sounds, smell the smells. Examine the details of what is right in front of you. Begin to notice when your ego takes you to the past or future and gently bring yourself back to now. You can do nothing about the past or the future, so let it go. You will find that you begin to experience a peace you’ve never known.

A moment may seem a slender shield to protect us from the morass of fears that assault us every day. But the truth is a moment is all we have. Life and death are decided in a moment and so is everything else. Make your moments count, by living them fearlessly, one at a time.

© 2005 Mindy L. Hitchcock.

Mindy L. Hitchcock is a family law attorney with 19 years experience. She is certified in collaborative law and the collaborative law team approach, a board member of the International Alliance of Holistic Lawyers (IAHL), member of the Collaborative Law Institute of Michigan and a member of the Human Rights Campaign. She is a writer and speaker and maintains two websites, LADY4JUSTICE PLLC, www.lady4justice.com and Mindy’s Access Power Center, www.mindyhitchcock.com. She can be reached at mlhitchcock@lady4justice.com .