Dear Louise,

I’ve read many of your books and found them helpful. Unfortunately, I’m at a point in my life where I’m finding it extremely hard to walk forward. I’m in a rather vicious cycle (of my own creation) of overeating, feeling extremely guilty, being depressed (the weight is coming back on), angry at myself for being so weak and trying with all my might to get back on track... only to repeat the cycle. My life isn’t really all that bad, but I feel a sense of fear about moving forward and embracing the new life I’ve created for my two boys and me. I feel that I’m cheating them with my behavior. Please help me to find the path that will lead me out of this horrid depression. I feel lost and confused.

K.A., New Zealand

Dear K.A.,

Your letter is a series of negative affirmations. As long as you continue to think in this way, you’re stuck. So let’s begin to change the way you’re looking at yourself. What I see is someone who is truly ready to let go of the past. I want you to do a lot of deep breathing and stay in the present moment. Affirm: “I am safe in this moment.” Say that a lot. Don’t look forward or backward.

Also affirm: “In this moment I am safe.” Embrace your life in this moment. Stay in this moment. Laugh with your children in this moment. Your path out of this negativity is in this moment. Breathe. Say: “In this moment we are safe.”

Take it one moment at a time and in a month you’ll be in a new and safe place.

Dear Louise,

Overeating has been an issue in my life since I was a child. I’ve thought about the millions of reasons this pattern emerged and have tried to understand, make peace with and let go of them all, but this seems to be an enormous barrier, and I seem to be stuck in spite of my work. I trust and believe that I can change this through the power of my own thoughts and right consciousness, but I’m not quite there yet. Any suggestions to help me get there?

M.C., New York

Dear M.C.,

There is no “there” to get to. You can only live now. The past, where you learned your negative patterns, is long gone. So please, let it go in your mind. In this now, the only now you have, you’re free to do things differently. There’s no barrier, only an old thought that doesn’t even exist anymore except in your memory bank. Close that account! There’s no such thing as being stuck, for each moment is fresh and new and has nothing to do with the past. So in this moment choose to think: I am free of all past barriers, restrictions and beliefs. Right now I am over all overeating, for that no longer exists for me. Right now I love and cherish who I am. In this moment I am lovable!

Dear Louise,

I’ve transformed myself a lot in the last 20 years, I’m 46 now, but one thing I still haven’t been able to change just yet is that every time I think I’ve found the real love in my life, the guy disappears. It’s like he appears to fall in love with me; starts to promise me everything I’ve been dreaming of: love, passion, security and support; and I prepare myself for happiness. Then he starts to avoid me like I have a terrible disease. I always try to remain friends at least, but the man runs away like mad. So I’m really starting to give up. It seems that I have to face that I won’t be able to remove this trauma.

A.S., London

Dear A.S.,

All traumas are removable and you can do it – especially if you’re willing to forgive! It sounds like this was a pattern of love in your home when you were a child. Either your parents treated you in this manner or they treated each other in this way. How love is expressed in our homes when we’re growing up is how (on a subconscious level) we expect to experience love when we grow up.

Parents aren’t to blame, for they usually treat their children as they were treated. So if you can (without blame) begin to forgive them, you’ll be on your way to creating a new shift in your relationships. Personal counseling would help you release this pattern.

In the meantime, affirm: I forgive all mistakes from my past. I am ready to let go of all patterns that no longer serve me. Those from the past are free and I am free. Everything I need for my complete healing comes to me now.

Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical teacher and the best-selling author of numerous books, including “You Can Heal Your Life”, “Empowering Women” and “I Can Do It®”. If you have questions for Louise Write to: Dear Louise Column, c/o Hay House, Inc., P.O. Box 5100, Carlsbad, CA 92018-5100 (letters may be edited for length and clarity). Due to the volume of e-mails Louise receives, she can no longer respond via the Internet. Visit Louise and Hay House at: www.LouiseHay.com or www.hayhouse.com®.