The relationship I want to explore, which may seem strange and something that we don’t often think about, is the one we have with ourselves.

Are you a friend to you? Do you even like yourself? If the answer to these questions is yes, you’re in good shape. If you hesitate, don’t know or answer no, then you have to get a handle on the fact that how you connect with yourself spiritually, emotionally and even physically is vitally important.

We’ve been taught not to love ourselves because it’s supposedly selfish. No, it’s not (unless it’s at the exclusion of everyone else). We have to love ourselves; in fact, I believe that we never reach our true spiritual growth unless we can take joy in our own company. We need downtime with ourselves more than ever now in a world that’s so full of noise and stress.

I have a friend who can’t be alone even for a minute, so she continually has people coming and going, phones ringing and guests staying over all the time. Don’t get me wrong – when my boys were growing up, our home was a beehive of activity, but even then I could retreat to my room, read, listen to music, sew or just be quiet with my thoughts or prayers. Of course I like myself, but getting to that point meant striving to be the person God wants me to be. You see, if you try to do the best you can in this life, emanating love and kindness and never intentionally hurting anyone, then you’ll be a person whom you can love and like. And then you’ll truly be able to love others, too.

You have to confront the fear of exploring who you are – you can’t just hide behind a wall of guilt or feelings of unworthiness or you’ll sabotage yourself. The first step is facing your emotional problems. These are usually harmful patterns that you keep repeating, such as the judgment of others or insisting that everyone should do what you feel is right. If you’re so busy condemning people, you’ll never have the time to know, much less love, yourself. So overcoming your destructive patterns can kick-start your growth and self-love.

You also have to face life full on and not shy away from the mountains you have to climb, for each challenge you encounter makes you stronger and more proud of yourself. And in the process, you’ll become aware of your strengths, which will lessen your weaknesses.

Speaking of weaknesses, it can be helpful to discover where you come up short. Of course this won’t be a pleasant process. After all, questions such as “Am I too self-absorbed or guilt ridden?” or “Am I too much of a perfectionist, not only with myself, but with others as well?” can be uncomfortable, but uncovering their answers will help lift off the heavy layers of behavior that have been keeping your soul from experiencing growth. In addition, asking yourself what you want from life and what goals you’ve set for yourself will help you focus. Unless you have an ambition, be it large or small, you’re going to feel useless, like a ship without a rudder. If you simply keep your eye on the target you wish to reach, you’ll do so.

I know it can be easy to fall into the trap of “I can’t do it... I’m too weak, afraid, old, young (or whatever your particular excuse is.)” Although your chart is set and your soul knows what it needs, many times a negative environment or certain types of programming can cover up who you really are – an entity made by God who is unique and different from any other entity in the universe. Just by knowing that, you can drop those heavy, binding overcoats and set your soul free. But most of all, you have to believe in yourself and trust that even in tough times, your own resources will carry you through.

Now let’s get to the relationship we have with our bodies. I like to think of our physical shells as vehicles we inhabit and if we drive them too hard and never give them the proper gas, oil, fan belts, spark plugs and the like, they won’t last and will fail us.

I also believe that our bodies are our temples, given to us by God. Naturally we shouldn’t get too crazy with this. I also believe, as the Greeks did, “Everything in moderation.” Any type of fanaticism, whether it has to do with religion, health or politics, makes me nervous. I believe in eating right, exercising and not drinking alcohol to excess. (I can’t drink at all because I get sick.) I also don’t think you should take recreational drugs, eat an abundance of sweets, smoke yourself to death or take every pill that a doctor will prescribe for you. Sure, you need medication at times, but you must have a real and thoughtful relationship with your body and treat it with respect. If you do, you won’t be depressed, tired or cranky and your vehicle will drive you around in style for years to come.

Our Special Places

Now let’s discuss the connections we have with the places we love. I’m fond of all the countries I’ve visited, especially Greece, Turkey and Egypt, but there’s something special about Kenya. When I first got off the plane on my initial visit, I instantly felt that I was home. I loved everything – the shops, the animals, the smell of the markets and the kind and wonderful people who were always smiling.

There’s a pantheistic belief that we’re all part of nature and that God is in everything. I believe in part of that – everything may not have a soul like humans and animals do, but everything is a mirror of God’s love.

For example, I was sitting in the backyard the other night with my granddaughter and we were listening to the crickets, smelling the pines and the grass and gazing at the stars. At that moment, we both realized that we all were parts of God’s creation. I don’t run around hugging every tree, but I feel that our relationship with the beauty of nature around us is God’s way of giving us joy. We don’t take enough time in our harried society to simply notice the stars, clouds, trees or hills; and I certainly don’t think that it’s corny to realize that each tree and blade of grass was put here by God for us to enjoy, love and cherish.

We really haven’t treated this planet very well, but we can experience its joy. Whether it’s our plants or pets, the smells and flowers of spring, the brisk air of winter or the crunch of leaves in the fall, these things are all part of the beauty of God’s creation. We always say, “Take time to stop and smell the roses,” but there are so many other sensory feelings we can experience. Take a few minutes to form a unity with nature, as it truly is an elixir for the soul and will help you strengthen the connection you have with yourself and God.

The above excerpt is taken from Spiritual Connections: How to Find Spirituality Throughout All Your Relationships in Your Life by Sylvia Browne (Hay House, April 2007) and is available at bookstores or online.