Protect
Yourself From Energy Vampires At Work
by Judith Orloff
The quality of our relationships effect our health. Our
relationships are governed by a give and take of energy. Some coworkers
and colleagues make us more electric or at ease. Yet others suck the
life right out of us. As a physician and energy specialist I want to
verify that energy vampires roam the workplace sapping our exuberance.
With patients I’ve seen their fang marks and the carnage they’ve strewn.
But most of us don’t know how to identify and cope with vampires, so we
mope around as unwitting casualties, enduring a preventable fatigue.
Here are some types of energy vampires
to watch for at work and ways to deal with them.
Vampire #1: The Sob Sister.
Every time you talk to her she’s whining. She adores a captive audience.
She’s the coworker with the “poor me” attitude who’s more interested in
complaining than solutions.
How to Protect Yourself: Set clear
boundaries. Limit the time you spend talking about her complaints. With
a firm but kind attitude say, “I’m sorry I can only talk for a few
minutes today.” And go on with your work.
Vampire #2: The Drama Queen.
This vampire has a flair for exaggerating small incidents into
off-the-chart dramas. My patient, Sarah, was exhausted when she hired a
new employee who was always late for work. One week he had the flu and
“almost died.” Next, his car was towed, again. After this employee left
her office Sarah felt tired and used.
How to Protect Yourself: A drama queen
doesn’t get mileage out of equanimity. Stay calm. Take a few deep
breaths. This will help you not get caught up in the histrionics. At
work, set kind but firm limits. Say, “You must be here on time to keep
your job. I’m sorry for all your mishaps, but work comes first.”
Vampire #3:The Constant Talker
or Joke Teller. He has no interest in your feelings; he’s only concerned
with himself. Initially, he might seem entertaining, but when the
talking doesn’t stop, you begin to get tired. You wait for an opening to
get a word in edgewise but it never comes. Or he might physically move
in so close he’s practically breathing on you. You edge backwards, but
without missing a beat, he steps closer again. One patient said about
such a coworker, “Whenever I spot this man, my colon goes into spasm.”
How to Protect Yourself: Know that
these people don’t respond to nonverbal cues. You must speak up and
interrupt. Listen for a few minutes. Then from a neutral place politely
say, “I’m a quiet person, so please excuse me for not talking a long
time” – a much more constructive tack than “Keep quiet, you’re driving
me crazy!” Vampire #4. The
Fixer Upper. This vampire is desperate for you to fix her endless
problems – at all hours. She turns you into her therapist. At lunch,
she’ll make a b-line to your desk, monopolizing your free time. Her
neediness lures you in.
How to Protect Your Energy: Do not
become the “rescuer.” Show empathy but resist offering solutions. Be
supportive but tell her, “I’m confident you’ll find the right solution”
or sensitively suggest that she seek a qualified professional for help.
Vampire #4: The Blamer. This
vampire has a sneaky way of making you feel guilty or lacking for not
getting things just right. Whenever my patient Marie, a book editor,
sees her boss she’s on guard; her boss had a way of cutting her down
that saps her energy. She always has a negative comment to make.
How to Protect Yourself: Try this
visualization. When you are around this person imagine yourself
surrounded by a cocoon of white light. Think of it as a protective
covering that keeps you from being harmed. Tell yourself that you are
safe and secure here. The cocoon filters out the negativity so it can’t
deplete you.
Vampire #5: Go For The Jugular
Fiend. This type is vindictive and cuts you down with no consideration
for your feelings. He says things like, “Forget that job. It’s out of
your league.” These jabs can be so hurtful it’s hard to get them out of
your head.
How To Protect Yourself: Eliminate them
from your life whenever possible. For a boss who isn’t going anywhere
try a visualization that puts you at a distance from them and refuse to
ingest the poison. If you don’t want to switch jobs, realize he’s a
wounded person; try not to take his meanness personally.

Judith Orloff MD is a psychiatrist and
intuitive, author of Positive Energy: Ten Extraordinary Prescriptions
for Transforming Fatigue, Stress and Fear Into Vibrance, Strength, and
Love (Three Rivers Press, 2005). She is also author of Guide to
Intuitive Healing and Second Sight. Dr. Orloff is giving a special four
day Intuitive Healing Course for Health Care Professionals March 2-5 in
Los Angeles. For more information visit
www.drjudithorloff.com
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