“Truly, it is in the darkness that one finds the light, so when we are in sorrow, then this light is nearest of all to us.”

Meister Eckhart

Our thoughts and prayers go out to those who have suffered great loss due to the Hurricane Katrina. In every person’s life there are those times when we are confronted with challenges that test us to the limit. These are the times when we feel the rug has been pulled from under us and all that we value is threatened. This is often called “the dark night of the soul.” We may enter this state through a variety of major life changes such as natural disasters, tragedy, illness, divorce, the loss of a loved one or some other significant crisis. These events usually cause us to search for answers about why this happened in our lives. We also may turn to a Higher Power for support, which strengthens our feelings of being spiritually connected.

Through the pain and grief, we seek meaning and understanding. It is appropriate that we grieve our losses, allow ourselves to be nurtured and supported by others so we can recoup and gather our resources. At some point it is necessary to put the tragedy in the past, so we can move on. The attitude we choose about what happened is crucial to our healing. The Chinese glyph for crisis contains two symbols meaning danger or opportunity. Those who have survived major life challenges seem to understand that every adversity contains within it the seeds of an equivalent or greater good. Although they would rather not have had the experience, they choose to use it as an opportunity to grow and transform.

A Course in Miracles says that we can learn through joy or pain. Most of us would rather learn through joy and yet when things are going well, we often don’t have the motivation or incentive to make necessary changes. Many times we intuitively know that there are things we need to change about our life styles. Yet, we may do nothing to make those changes until some illness occurs and we are forced to change. Healing and change usually come from crisis because it is at those times when the need for change becomes a must rather than a should. First we realize that something must change. Secondly, we need to believe that change is possible and finally, we realize that we, ourselves must change.

When crisis occurs we may think in terms of punishment. We may lament, “What have I done to deserve this?” It may have nothing to do with punishment and is instead an empowering life lesson for ourselves and those around us. Problems are the gymnasium of life, they make us stronger. Richard Bach, author of Illusions, says “there is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.” In nature it is the overcoming of obstacles that develops strength. A baby chick needs the challenge of picking his way through the shell in order to be strong enough to survive. If a person helped by cracking open the shell, the chick would be too weak to survive. There’s a saying that goes something like this: “Great oaks don’t grow with ease, the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees.”

Gerald Coffee spent seven years in solitary confinement in Vietnam. He says we need to embrace adversity, because it is during the tough times that we find out who we really are and what we are capable of. Has there been a time in your life when you got through a crisis and discovered you were more capable than you realized?

I was very moved by the life of actor, Christopher Reeve. As you may know, he was thrown from a horse years ago and became paralyzed. In a TV interview he once shared his dark night of the soul experience. He told of the times when he wanted to give up, but the support of his loved ones and friends all over the world pulled him through and now he tells us that he knows he is more than just a body. He had his mind and his spirit. He made the best of the life he had. And he was an inspiration to all of us. Christopher Reeve is no longer with us physically, but his legacy lives on.

Life is like an ocean. Sometimes there is turbulence. The waves knock us around. We crash into the rocks. We may feel some pain. It’s OK to acknowledge that pain and to see what we can learn from that experience. We may need the support of others to regain our footing. But we need to look ahead. If we keep looking back at the rocks, we may find ourselves stuck or in a worse situation. By looking at the rocks too long, we may miss some exciting opportunities along the way. We can ride those waves. We can come out stronger and wiser than before.

Donna May MA Ed, is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Stress Management and Pain Relief Specialist and a practitioner of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), Reiki and Yuen Energetics. She utilizes spiritual principles and A Course in Miracles teachings in her counseling. She is available for classes, public presentations or private consultations. Donna can be reached at (248) 626-4859 or via email at: DonnMay27@comcast.net.