Have you ever had a decision to make and not know which way to turn? Weighing out the pros and cons of this situation seems like a good way to decide.

Just recently my friend Jeffrey was faced with a challenging situation in his life. He and his father had been planning a trip out west for several years. They had been saving their money and almost had enough for both of them to go. This trip was very important to them and they were looking forward to it. It was a chance for them to become closer as his dad was growing older and they wanted to spend special time together.

Jeff’s father had been out west many years before and had wanted to share this special experience with his son. So they planned the trip which included going to a dude ranch. Before they had the chance to take the trip, Jeff’s dad had a heart attack and after several weeks in the hospital, he suddenly passed away. Jeff was devastated. He was numb. His plans and his life were shattered.

He still wanted to go out west as planned and to follow through on the plans they had made together. Some friends supported him, saying it would be the best thing for him to do. Others thought it best for him to stay here and get through the death of his father. Jeff was so confused. He told me that he thought he might go out west as planned, yet he needed to stay here and face his loss. He didn’t know what to do. Everyone was advising him in different ways. He was vulnerable and feeling so many emotions. His dad was all he had left after his mother’s passing and now he was gone.

Did you ever have to finally decide
Say yes to one
and let the other one ride
There’s so many changes
and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide

Jeff gave most of his videos, CD's and clothes away. His computer and furniture went to good homes. He was trying to please everyone and didn’t know exactly what he wanted to do.

Jeff would soon learn how to please himself in this situation.

But it’s all right now
I learned my lesson well.
You see, ya can’t please everyone,
so ya gotta please yourself!

Ricky Nelson
 

The struggle that Jeff was having within himself reminded me of a little story about frogs... it just jumped out at me!

A group of frogs was traveling through the woods and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the unfortunate frogs they would never get out. The two frogs ignored the comments and kept trying to jump up out of the pit.

The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs listened to what the other frogs were saying and simply gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and suffering and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs asked him," Why did you continue jumping? Didn’t you hear us?” The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

You can’t please everyone
so you got to please yourself!

Jeff decided to listen to and follow his heart and he discovered what he should do. He had listened to everyone else, but knew it was time for him to decide what he wanted. He became quiet for several days, found that stillness within and realized what was best for him.This was a big step for him since he had usually been swayed by the opinions of others. Just like the one little frog who did what he needed to do, Jeff did the same as well. Jeff ended up not going out west. He moved to another place in the same area and pulled his life together. He told me he needed to face his loss. He couldn’t heal by running away.

We learn from the choices we make in life no matter how large or small.

Did you ever have to
make up your mind?

Gerri Magee is director of advertising and public relations and assistant to the editor of phenomeNEWS. She continues to share her thoughts “On The Path” in this column. You can write her at gerri@phenomenews.com.