Sometimes even to live
is an act of courage.

Seneca

We’ve all had times in our lives when things were overwhelming and stressful.

Last Sunday morning, I was in my living room surrounded by lots of boxes and containers filled with books, paperwork and many of my possessions. My basement had flooded and years of everything had to be taken out. Then my shower began leaking behind the wall and down in to the basement as well. My life seemed to be turned upside down. As I looked around my house, all the areas were filled and I felt overwhelmed.

Then a vision of Paul flashed into my mind. I’ve known Paul for over fifteen years. His loving, exuberant, carefree nature draws everyone to him. Paul is tall, dark and handsome, very athletic and he loves sports.

Paul had moved from Michigan to Arkansas several years ago to manage his Mom and Dad’s Native American/Southwestern store. Before moving, there he had created his own business, “Joy Jars.” Inside a clear jar, he placed 365 brightly colored affirmations and labeled the jar “A Year of Joy.” He took great pride in them and in fact, he actually cut them all out by hand. We’ve had these jars in our office for years and whenever I pull a positive quote from them I think of Paul and the love and pride that went into making them.

Seeing Paul’s face flash into my mind that Sunday, I reflected on what his Mom Jan had recently told me. On January 31, 2003, through the urgings of his wife Barrie, Paul was admitted to St. Joseph’s Mercy Hospital with a severe headache and flu-like symptoms. Before the day ended, he was connected to life support and by evening the doctors gave him less than one percent chance to live. The diagnosis was pneumococcal sepsis, which is poisoning of his blood. Most patients were said to die from this within 24 to 48 hours.

Paul fought to live. The blood flow to his extremities was constricted due to the illness. Bob and Jan, Paul’s mom and dad, flew to Arkansas to be with him. On February 24, doctors made the decision to amputate both his feet. Conditions worsened and on March 1st, they had to amputate both his legs. Paul suffered excruciating pain. Barrie, Jan, Bob and Judith, Paul’s sister were all there by his side.

Even though my situation was chaotic, I felt a strong desire to connect with Paul, I called him later that Sunday afternoon. We talked for over an hour. He sounded so good, so positive. He told me that through all of his pain, he had a strong will to live. He had kept his wife and his children Aaron, 6 and his baby girl Anna Rose 3, his mom, dad, sister Judith and Barrie’s mom and dad in his thoughts and prayers the whole time. He said he didn’t want to leave them. I grew silent when he told me that on April 15th, doctors had to amputate his right hand. He said, “You watch your parents cry when you go through a crisis like this.”After that they moved him out of intensive care to begin three months of intense rehabilitation, learning to eat again, sit up and to move his arms. Paul was placed in prayer circles at his church and in our healing jar at the phenomeNEWS office. Prayers were said for him around the world. He had regained all of his organ functions except for his kidney. He was put on dialysis, but it didn’t work well for him.

On the 23rd of December with all of the family there, Judith offered to give her brother a kidney. There was a match. The two of them underwent the operation. It was a success. This was a priceless gift from Judith. The entire family spent Christmas at the hospital. Paul reflected, “In less than a year, a new kidney and new legs: I’d call that a pretty good turn around. I can live, raise my kids now and love my wife.” Paul also told me that he could have died five times. He said he literally met the angel of death. These were his opportunities to check out, but he didn’t. He said aloud, “I’m not leaving my wife and kids, thanks for the offer but wrong address.” He said that every day is “Bonus Time” and that he is more driven than ever.

As we talked, I couldn’t believe how positive he was after all he’s been through. He told me he’d planted a tree. What kind? I asked. He replied, “A Japanese maple.” He proceeded to tell me how he had planted it. He used the electric wheelchair to get to the yard and placed himself on a pad on the ground as he dug, little by little, with a small shovel. This took quite a bit of time to dig the hole, fill it with water, take the tree out of the container and place it in the ground and cover it up with dirt. All this with only part of his left hand. He was creating wholeness and celebrating life while planting this tree.

While we were on the phone, I heard Aaron and Anna Rose talking and laughing in the background. One of them asked “Daddy, who are you talking to?” Paul said, “To my friend in Michigan. Maybe you’ll meet her someday.” My heart smiled! A couple of minutes later Paul told me, “The kids are outside watering the tree that I planted.” He had told them how important it is to keep the little tree watered in the beginning to give it a good start in life. I pictured the whole scene of Paul talking on the phone as the kids were outside watering the tree.

He told me, “One less prayer and I wouldn’t be here.” He thanked me and everyone who prayed for him. He told me he wants to take his son up north in Michigan, to the lake where his dad had taken him fishing many times. It would be the fourth generation of the family going there and sharing this experience.

He told me that everyone has changed since this happened to him. And they’ve all changed in a positive way. He added, “If you want to test your faith, this is the way. This whole thing has been a nightmare, yet, I don’t feel like a victim. I have certain limitations and could lay down and give up but I won’t. It’s time to get on with it. I refuse to stop living. Dig down in the bag a little deeper and find your faith. I have a lot of life energy and a driving force, a positive force that can’t be defeated. This is not the way it ends. God gave me time.”

I have never met anyone with such a positive attitude despite what he’s been through. I’m proud to be his friend.

Now as I sit in my living room with all the boxes and chaos around me, I don’t feel so bad after all. I picture Paul planting his tree and not allowing anyone or anything to defeat him in life.

I’ll be sending him a card. If you’d like to send something and share your thoughts and feelings, etc, send it to phenomeNEWS, 18444 W. 10 Mile Rd. Suite 105, Southfield, MI. 48075... attention of Gerri and I will forward them on to Paul.

Today, I pulled a positive affirmation from the “Joy Jar” and will be sending it along to Paul. “I accept the good that pours in around me this day.”

Often the test of courage is not to die but to live.

Orestes

Gerri Magee is director of advertising and public relations and assistant to the editor of phenomeNEWS. She continues to share her thoughts “On The Path” in this column. You can write her at gerri@phenomenews.com.