The Mirror And The Pointing Finger

 by Donna May

The people with whom we are in conflict are usually mirroring some parts of ourselves with which we are uncomfortable or unresolved.
Shakti Gawain

Everything and everyone in our lives is reflecting some aspect of our consciousness. Sometimes it is a part of us that we have disowned or suppressed. We may be experiencing these traits in others, so that we can be aware of what we need to change or develop within ourselves.

Imagine that you are looking across the room at someone you strongly admire, someone who you consider a leader. Now point your finger at that person and notice that as you hold your hand in that position, three fingers are pointing back at you. That means that you, too, have leadership qualities that are there for you to develop within yourself. That is why you experienced strong feelings about the other person. At some level, you know that this is a quality that you want to develop within yourself.

Now suppose that you are angrily pointing your finger at someone whom you consider a manipulator. The fact that you experienced strong feelings about that person may indicate that there is something for you to learn through this person. You may be upset with the part of you that sometimes manipulates. It may be a part of you that you have disowned, but is still there at some level. Of course it could also be that you have experienced manipulation in the past and being manipulated is something you no longer are willing to tolerate. You are seeking an opportunity to handle yourself in a new assertive way.

Suppose that you witness someone storming out of the room in frustration when things are not working as they expected. You may find yourselves irritated with that person’s behavior. Could it be that you have acted that way at sometime yourself? Or does it remind you of someone else who acted that way and triggered negative feelings to surface in you? If it was not your issue, you would have simply observed the situation. But if it created a negative feeling within, it probably reminded you of a disliked behavior from the past. It may have been a response that you used as a four-year-old when your building blocks toppled. By leaving the room, you avoided the frustration. A part of you learned that leaving the scene was a way to handle frustration. But, while that behavior was appropriate for a four-year-old, it may not always be appropriate for an adult. The adult may need to update that part by learning a new way to handle frustration such as taking a few deep breaths and remaining centered. And when we can unconditionally love our disowned parts, we can give others that unconditional love and support as well. We begin to act from our higher self.

Like attracts like. The vibrational signals we send out into the universe attract vibrations that match the signals being sent out by other individuals who have similar traits. When we continually attract similar circumstances or the same type of people in our lives, we must realize there is something to pay attention to. Any repeated pattern indicates a lesson to be learned. We keep creating similar situations until enough energy is created for us to realize what we must change about us. Each episode usually grows in intensity until we realize that we must change. When we are transformed, we attract different circumstances. The first step in making any change is awareness and Infinite Intelligence is continually making us aware of what we need to change and develop by reflecting it back to us through our environment. When we are experiencing strong feelings about a person or a situation, we need to ask ourselves: “What am I supposed to be learning through this mirror process? What aspect of myself, is this reflecting? What do I need to understand about myself?” The answer may not come immediately, but within a short time, insights will occur in some form through thoughts that occur to us or perhaps a passage in a book or from the words of another person. This is similar to the experience of asking yourself, “What is that person’s name?” and having it flash into your mind later when you least expect it.

The purpose of bringing these disowned parts of us into view is not for us to feel bad or disappointed about ourselves, but to have the opportunity to learn and evolve. Through other people, we learn what we need to transform or develop within ourselves. Since life is a process of continual learning, it is the way Infinite Intelligence, helps us recognize that there is something that needs to be learned. When we become aware of a part of us that we don’t like, it is our opportunity to acknowledge and love that sub personality because it has been attempting to do something positive for us. In so doing, we begin the process of transforming that part by updating it with our new level of consciousness. By loving that part of us and helping it to evolve, we begin to integrate that sub personality with the higher self.

The outer world is a reflection of our inner world. By remembering the “mirror” and the “pointing finger,” we can become more aware of our potential and the areas that we need to strengthen.

Donna May MA Ed, is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Stress Management, Pain Relief Specialist, practitioner of NLP, Reiki and Yuen Energetics. She utilizes spiritual principles and “A Course in Miracles” teachings. Available for classes, public presentations or private consultations. (248) 626-4859 or DonnaMay27@comcast.net.