People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Abraham Lincoln

Have you noticed that in any given moment we can usually come up with several problems or situations that rob us of our peace of mind? We think or say, “I would be happy if it weren’t for ____!” Those problematic areas seem to hang over our heads and interfere with our feelings of well-being just as gray clouds block the sun. You may also have noticed that when a more serious problem comes along, it quickly replaces lesser concerns that were previously robbing us of our joy. When a tragedy occurs it seems to put things into perspective. Those problems that hang over our heads quickly take a back seat when we become aware of crisis situations. Tragic situations tend to remind us of what is really important in life. John Lennon wrote: “Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.”

How much energy and time do we lose being angry with other people? How much effort do we put into fault-finding rather than love-finding. A happy person strives to uplift people rather than fault find. How often are we quick to have attack thoughts toward others rather than finding ways to uplift the people in our lives.

I know of sisters who have not spoken in years because of an argument they had years ago over their mother’s will. I know a woman who has robbed herself of her happiness for most of her life because of an event that happened when she was a child. We can choose to be angry and resentful or we can put the past behind and choose to be happy now.

At an Anthony Robbins seminar, he asked the group, “What has to happen for you to be happy?” One man said, “If I had X amount of dollars in the bank, I would be happy!” Someone else said, “Winning the lottery, would make me happy!” A woman said, “If I could find a good mate, I would be happy.” A couple answered, “If our children grew up to be good people, that would make us happy.” Finally, a young man who seemed to smile a lot, was asked what had to happen for him to be happy. He answered, “When I wake up, I notice that I’m alive and since I am, that makes me happy, because every day above ground is a great day! “That man found it easy to be happy because his rule for happiness was easy to achieve. If we wait for money, a mate or our children to grow up a certain way, so we can be happy, we may be waiting a long time.

We need to look at the little things in life that trigger our happiness. I love this paragraph written by an 85-year old-woman, named Nadine Stair, from Louisville, Kentucky.

If I Had My Life to Live Over

I’d like to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more fruit and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual trouble, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones. You see, I’m one of those people who lives sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.

A happy person may look at the world through rose-colored glasses, but an unhappy person views every event through a dark filter. A happy person has problems and is aware of serious challenges in the world, but is always looking for a higher meaning. They believe that somehow, some good will result from life’s challenges. In any moment you can make a new choice to see and do things differently. Happiness is a gift you give yourself by changing your perceptions and seeing things differently. Since nothing has any meaning except the meaning you give it, you can use your mind and your creativity to choose a new, more empowering meaning for life’s problems. A song from the 1940’s reminds us: “Look for the silver lining

When e’er a cloud appears in the blue.

Remember somewhere the sun is shining,

And so the right thing to do,

Is make it shine for you.

A heart, full of joy and gladness,

Will always banish sadness and strife.

So always look for the silver lining,

And try to find the sunny side of life.”

Donna May MA Ed, is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Stress Management, Pain Relief Specialist, practitioner of NLP, Reiki and Yuen Energetics. She utilizes spiritual principles and “A Course in Miracles” teachings. Available for classes, public presentations or private consultations. (248) 626-4859 or DonnMay27@comcast.net.