It was a beautiful, but hot day. “Hey Kathy.”

I followed the voice and there was a long time acquaintance I hadn’t seen in ages. What a nice surprise.

As we exchanged the news of our lives she told me that she was out during the day because she’d been fired. She didn’t deserve it. After all, she worked harder than anyone else in the office, ate her lunch at her desk, etc. It wasn’t her fault that she got fired. Someone else was behind it. After all, she was the hardest working employee…but at least she got unemployment, but that wasn’t enough money to live on. She related how she was good at the different office skills and how she really enjoyed parts of her job.

As I, with my profound wisdom suggested that she look for work at a company that specialized in that aspect of the work she said, “You know, it’s not my fault that I got fired. I worked harder than anyone else and I worked through my lunch… someone was behind it. It’s not my fault.”

Obviously, she wasn’t tuned in to my words of wisdom and so I asked her what life was like now.

She told of how she was tanned because at least now she could work in her garden. She spoke of her beautiful beefsteak tomatoes, the abundant, tasty green beans, the peppers, corn and much more.

“I know where you can advertise for free. Why not sell the produce? You could make some extra cash. I know I would love fresh veggies. In fact, you could offer to deliver them for a dollar or two.” Sounded like a good idea to me.

“It’s not my fault that I got fired you know. Did I tell you how long I’d worked there? I worked harder than anybody else. They had it in for me.”

She hadn’t heard a word that I said. She was so focused on this person or people who had wronged her. She was so angry. You could see how being wronged, in her opinion, had taken over her life and thoughts.

They were controlling her completely.

What was she to do?

I’m sure that economically, she will do fine. She’s a clever girl and will find another job. Hopefully one she feels good about.

But what about the resentment and anger that is gnawing at her. Left on its own it can lead to a number of physical ailments. And at this rate, I don’t see how she can ever be happy – unless she makes some other choices.

What choices? Everything is a choice.

Let’s start with the anger and resentment. People say, well, just forgive the folks involved and move on. Easy to say, but not easy to do. Here are some suggestions if this is an issue in your life.

Deepak Chopra has a great CD, Soul of Healing Meditations that gives you techniques to release these toxic thoughts. “Focus on your heart,” he says. “Think of anyone you may be holding a resentment or grudge against. Visualize them in your awareness and practice forgiveness. Recognizing that everyone is doing their best from their state of consciousness.”

Have the intention to forgive others and yourself for any trespasses that may have resulted in pain.

Repeat the following from A Course In Miracles to help release toxic emotions from your heart. “Every decision I make is a choice between a grievance and a miracle. I relinquish all resentments, grievances and regrets and choose the miracle.”

Keep the person in your heart as you repeat this phrase.

OK, you say. I’ve done that. Now what? I still feel like crap and life isn’t fair.

Well, nobody said that it was. But, there are some things you can do to feel better while the universe works on things for you. Remember that you get what you put out there. Wayne Dwyer was discussing physics on his PBS program on the Power of Intention. Research shows that when you change the way you look at things, things change. So that if you think an experiment is going to turn out a certain way, it actually causes it to. Why not try that with life?

What if you decided that life was going to get better and then did some stuff to help it along. Whatever you put your focus on is what you get. We are meant to be happy all the time. We have choices. Is your brain meant to see danger everywhere or good stuff? You can reprogram it. You can learn to think optimistically.

Surround yourself with happy people. Stop watching the news over and over. Stop when you are in a negative situation. Look for the good in the situation.

While I was in the hospital last winter, the furnace went out in the house I was renting and the pipe in the basement burst flooding it with two feet of water. My daughters all came in from different parts of the country. They rented dumpsters and pods, called The Salvation Army and emptied the house. The girls could pick things that they could use now, that I no longer had a use for.

I lost my oak table and chairs, refrigerator, new dryer and everything stored in the basement. No renter’s insurance. Uncooperative landlady. Disaster, right? Where is the bright side? Must be one somewhere.

Fast forward to this month. Once again the daughters came in. This time it was to empty the pods and set me up in my new (small) apartment.

What a relief. We don’t have to sort out what to put into the apartment because that was done last winter. As I have visited them I see my stuff being put to good use in their homes…and it wasn’t as a result of a clear-out from a funeral. It made me happy.

Do you want a Starter Manual to being happy? Pick up The Happiness Makeover: How to Teach Yourself to be Happy and Enjoy Every Day, by M. J. Ryan.

The Universe wants only the best for you. There will be down days which means that there will be up days too. Find something good in your life, everyday. Appreciate it. It can become a habit, you know.

Kathy Sinnett, RN is a Certified Healing Touch Practitioner and Instructor of advanced energy and spirit release work. She can be reached at kkathysinnett@cs.com.